What to do??!! ~

Okay, I'm such a slow learner. Such a blunt girl. AND I'M STUPID!!!! Hate myself so much!!!! I always take such a long time to improve in something, example my Nanquan and my Nandao. it took me more than one months to improve my Nanquan!! And then my Nandao lehh?? Just finish learning the whole routine and I SUCKS!!!!! Poor sense of direction, can't memorise the routine nicely, ARRGH~!! And I'm going for competition on June!!!! I sucks damn it!!!! No matter how many times I try, I STILL SUCKS!!!!! Hate myself so much~!!!!