Only 4 days left~

The pressure's on. So many tough trainings, muscle pains, tiredness, and most of all, stress. Yeah, I have to deal not only with this nationwide competition, I also dealt with my big examination this year. Seriously, I though my stress will be relieved after my exam, but guess what? Nothing changed. Still feeling quite stressed out. I know it's a stress for this competition, but one more thing I'm not so sure about is, something tells me this stress is not only for this competition, and I don't know what it is!

Shifu said there will be a push-hand competition next month. I was like having totally no rest at all. I don't know if I wanted to join or not. Just feeling so stressed out. I would say no if it would be much easier to say, since many people will expect me to take part in it. I haven't join any push-hand competition this year because of exam, and now because of stress?? I don't know how to pull this together to Shifu. Because I know he wanted me to join this competition very badly. He even started training me since yesterday.

I have a confession to make here. I know it's bad but, I want to be honest. I drank a little alcohol just now. Just a little. And I never though it felt good for the first time. Not nice taste, but relieving. I was just like kept wanting to take more but luckily, I manage to control myself. I had this really bad thinking for a long time. I wanted to taste alcohol (because I was stressed out). Now I do understand why people seek alcohol when they are facing problems. I wanted to tell my parents about this but....how should I? I wanted to be honest towards them, but I don't know how.

Munched my chocolate fudge just now. Too sweet yulk! But luckily yesterday, Daibi and Jia yin help me finish up half of how much I made. They loved it yay! But there's still a whole bunch in my fridge. I kept staring at it like my enemy.